As I remove myself from the shower to dry my dripping hands so I can type, it’s never odd to me that these moments hit me like this, at seemingly the strangest times. But I don’t want to lose what’s racing through my mind, so here I am, ready to share with you.
As I watched you embark on your next adventure this morning while getting on the bus, both progressing to middle school and high school, I felt the gravity of life beginning to pull us even closer to adulthood.
I am going to ramble, no doubt, but I’ll clarify a few things that should be simple to understand.
A few of my beliefs, in which you will choose how to digest and make into your own:
- You will acknowledge everyone, when they stop for you in a crosswalk. Your right to be there is irrelevant. Do not overthink this. It isn’t exclusively about a crosswalk. It’s the principle. The value in seeing people, acknowledging others that we share this planet with. Micro. Human. Gestures.
- You will try. You will try as hard as you can to find balance, the truth, and what’s right.
- You will protect those in need. I’m talking real danger. Real hate. You will not stand by and lay witness, no matter the cost.
- You will believe in yourself. You will know that no matter what type of clothes, or home, or job you have – that who you are and how you engage with those around you has the potential to change the world.
It’s strange, as always. Im so proud of the little things you do, like just getting up and being ready for the day.
I also love the ambitions. The stars that each of you chase.
Maybe it’s a pro athlete, maybe a doctor, maybe something else that seems to sit well with the definition of success.
I’m here to tell you that who you are, and the simple things you do in everyday life is the miracle. The real success story.
The ripple effect from your human interactions cannot be quantified. You could inspire someone to be the person who changes the world, it doesn’t actually have to be you – even though I suppose it is…
You, and everything around you are more connected than you think.
I’m sorry if it seems some days I’m too truthful, or too hard on you.
Why? Because I believe in you more than anyone on this fucking planet. Period. I have ALWAYS believed in you. Unequivocally. No doubt. I’m not afraid to push, because I know you can handle it.
It’s so easy to want to hype you up. It’s so easy to give you what you want. It’s so easy to want you to feel special everyday of your life.
But pushing you, guiding you, will hopefully let you see someday in the future, just how much I believe in you.
I get it, I’m not the easiest when it comes to supporting you, or being patient with you on some of the daily struggles, and god damnit, I wish I was that man. Maybe some fathers have figured out a way to be both, but not me. Not yet.
But you can bet your ass that when things get hard, I’ll be that guy. I’ll step up to the plate and do what you need me to. I know that. I promise that.
So please believe me when I say I love you more than this letter, or my words, or my tears will ever express. It literally hurts to try and explain it to you. You just have to believe me. Please.
I’ll never stop being proud of you. I’ll never give up on you. I’ll never settle for less than your capacity.
In a world seemingly filled with imbalance, I believe you can show society that a man can be emotional, compassionate, yet wildly strong and violent if life calls for it. It’s almost your time to show everyone out there that you can be the BEST of human kind.
I wish I had a cool hand shake, or a cool phrase that is unique to us – to show the world how close we are – but I suppose I’ve never been that kind of father. I don’t know every detail of your life. I don’t do all the right things on a daily basis. I’m not a perfect role model. But, I am yours. And I will be there when it matters. And no one believes in you more than me. NO ONE.
You are my greatest gifts, and I’ll die the happiest man because of you, no matter when that time may come.
I love you BOTH, more than words will ever express.
Dad.
A Fleury of Life 