This past week my family spent some time in my new truck, as we traveled to visit family in Syracuse, and had a little water park fun at The Great Escape Lodge in Lake George. My point in starting this way, is that by spending so much time in the new truck, I kind of expected to come back with the urge to cut down trees, or move some heavy rocks, maybe handle explosives… Not get the urge to share with you, that I got goose bumps from a Disney song. :-(.
But… Here we are…
This song is from the movie Planes – Fire and Rescue, one of the boys favorite. So… one of songs in the movie, Spencer Lee’s – Still I Fly, just gets both of our boys mesmerized, always has. They love it! So of course I have it on my phone and we listened to it a lot on our recent trips.
But this time I actually heard the lyrics and thought they were just a great fit for all of us, perhaps more so for me, right at that moment.
It has been a rough few weeks for me personally, as I have been within what I hope, is a parenting growth spurt. I have been doing some aggressive yelling… well… Aggressive parenting in general, and I have not found a way to rope it in. I’m just always feeling pushed, always overwhelmed, always failing. Always failing.
When I look at it (my behavior) from outside our little box, it seems totally ridiculous that it gets to that point, even if it is followed up with teaching and love.
Regardless… Both of the boys seem completely oblivious to my frustration and anger, continuing to do as they please, until they feel like replicating the emotions that I have been putting on display for them. And both of them, acting more like me, has got me doing some serious thinking.
All of a sudden those damn corny movie song lyrics seemed to level my thoughts on it all…
“There’s a time in your life
When the world is on your side
You might not feel it
You might not see it
But it surrounds you like a light
Makes you stronger for the fight
Never letting go
Gotta learn to grow
Watch me as I touch the sky
Still I fly
Now I know it’s what I gotta do
Find a dream that’s new
Give it all I got this time
Still I fly
Still I fly
Feel the wind all around
All the courage to be found
Who knows what’s out there
But I know I’ll get there
Oh off into the sun
I know I’m not the only one that’s
Never letting go
Gotta learn to grow
Watch me as I touch the sky
Still I fly
Now I know it’s what I gotta do
Find a dream that’s new
Give it all I got this time
Still I fly
Still I fly
Still I fly
Breathe it in
I’m gonna shine
It’s my moment
Gotta live and live it right
I’m flyin
Flyin so strong
I’m movin’
I’m movin’
I’m movin’ on
Never letting go
Gotta learn to grow
Watch me as I touch the sky
Still I fly
Now I know it’s what I gotta do
Find a dream that’s new
Give it all I got this time
Still I fly
Still I fly”
It is going to be a long road of learning and teaching. Today, The G & G boys picked a song for me, for them.
I have to learn to grow. So they will.
I have to shine. So they will.
I have to fly. So they will.
I have to. I just have to.