You don’t know ******, and that’s okay.

Bear with us (Yes, we had to Google the proper use of “bear”), as we feel the need to exhale…

My wife and I would like to have a conversation with you, and a blog is the perfect place to do it, because you can’t respond. 🤓 

Seemingly every day of our lives, someone feels the need to tell us a success story about a kid they know who has autism. 

Well… if YOU don’t have a child with Autism, then…

You don’t know Autism, and that’s okay! 

But just because you don’t know Autism, doesn’t mean we don’t want to have a conversation about it with you. As a matter of fact, we would love to! 

Go ahead and inquire, but don’t assume.  Go ahead and wonder, but don’t let your imagination get away from you.  Go ahead and speak, but don’t pretend you know anything about our life with Autism. 

Please, be comfortable with us. Be comfortable with the fact that we want to share our experiences with you, if you care to dive in these complicated waters. This isn’t death. This isn’t contagious. This isn’t poor us.   

We know it is hard for you to believe the difficulty we have at times, living within the spectrum, but please trust us… that we are fragile, and we feel like breaking almost everyday.   

We want your love and acceptance, no doubt. And so does our beautiful boy, more than you know.  

So try your best to be at our side and hang tough, but don’t tell us it will be okay. Please do not compare him to some valedictorian in Idaho that you once knew, who has Autism. We don’t need any help believing that our son can be whoever he wants to be someday, that is not one of our struggles. 

If you don’t have to forcefully restrain your child to get a haircut, after haircut, after haircut, after haircut, if you don’t know what it’s like to sit in dozens of IEP meetings (all meetings require lots of tears as well…) to discuss your child’s “deficiencies” by the time he is 4, if you don’t know what it’s like to read, again, what he is not capable of on a piece of paper sent to you in the fu***ng mail, if you don’t worry every single day that he may never be independent, or if you have ever had to inform your before school daycare provider (or parents, or co-workers, or other kids, or mother loving strangers) as to why your child is so different, then you don’t know Autism. 

We just want you to listen. We don’t need you to relate. 

One last thing.  

To all of our friends and family… every one that matters… you all have been so unwavering in your support of Greyson and our family.   

You sit quietly and give us your love… which in turn… gives us strength. 

Thank you.

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